GROWING

With a new year comes a want to grow and change as a person. Everyone wants a clean slate so why not use a new year as a time to reflect back on the year before and make positive changes for the year to come. I always set out resolutions and sometimes I get them accomplished and other times I don’t. I guess that’s how life works though. So these past couple weeks I have really thought about what it is I want to do this year; emotionally, physically, spiritually, and all other aspects of life. As I was thinking about what goals I want to set for myself I started thinking about what I had to look forward too in the up coming months. Then I realized that I have a lot of things that I have already set out for myself, I just have to fully dedicate myself to accomplish them while living every moment full heartedly.

If you asked me a year ago if I thought that life would take me here to this very moment sitting in my bed, sipping on a peach Snapple, and writing…I would say no. Well, maybe…in all seriousness I would have never guessed I would be at this point in my life. This past year has had a lot of ups and downs, some things that were life changing and can never be reversed. I have yet to figure out if it’s for the good or not, but only time will tell. It’s hard constantly wondering why certain things happen to yourself and others. I am guilty of letting the tough times control my emotions and actions, but I can only learn from my mistakes. Although a lot has changed I can say that my eyes have opened. I have learned a lot about myself, what I am capable of achieving in life. I think it’s time to embrace my capabilities more so than ever before and start living a life that I desire. I want to live every moment in life and cherish it. I know I will have my good days and bad days, but no matter what I want to live life for me.

It’s weird to think that the new year started a week ago. I guess I have ignored the notion until today, my first day back to class. Today I decided to celebrate this as my new year. My life is nothing without a combination of work, fun, and of course school. When I woke up this morning I decided that I would make the most of every day. So I started my morning early with a great breakfast and headed to my first class, but first I stopped at Starbucks where I ran into one of my great friends that I had the pleasure of meeting last semester in class. I must say I could not have started my day off any better and my Honors Earth Science which is all about Gemstones is going to be great. Not only does my professor seem pretty cool but I get to learn about all the gemstones and precious metals. This means that my future husband should be scared about the overwhelming knowledge I am about to gain about my potential engagement ring. My day continued to out pour with mass amounts of productivity. Picked up my books, made myself a delicious lunch, ordered my last couple books for class, and headed to my second and last class! Two classes on a Monday, how could I complain? As my second class went just as well as my first I ended my day by returning to my apartment to sit down and begin organizing my semester. That’s when I started to realize all the great opportunities I have in front of me and the amazing journeys I intend to embark on and that’s when I decided to write.

As I was sitting here looking at my upcoming schedule it dawned on me that a couple of months ago I applied for formal recruitment. For those of you who may not understand this terminology I intend on rushing for a sorority at Ohio State. I may not necessarily take a bid, but I at least want to try it out and see what it is about. I know some sororities and fraternities sometimes have this negative stereotype  but I fail to believe it unless I check it out for myself. I believe sororities do great things for others. I think it is time I extend my desire to help others in different ways. Also this would be a great opportunity to engage myself more with my school community and make new life long friends. I believe in doing good for others, in any way I believe fit. I cannot predict where this new opportunity will take me, but I have a hunch it can bring a lot of positivity in my life. And so the countdown begins…

This semester I have a rigorous course schedule including three honors classes and a math class. I believe I am 100% capable of dedicating more time into my studies to meet my goal of a 4.0 GPA. Although it may seem silly to some, but setting small goals such as this motivates me to prove to others that I am capable, but most importantly proving to myself that I capable of great things outside and inside the classroom. It will be a challenge, but this year is all about challenging myself so that I can continually grow and become the person I want to be in life.

Not all my attention is going to be focused on school. I want to dedicate myself to surrounding myself with things and people who make me happy. A lot has changed since this time last year and now there is something missing that I need to replace. I need to fill my life with the joy I use to feel when I gave back to others, specifically little munchkins. I love being around kids and their families. They fill my life with happiness and fill an empty spot in my heart since I have no siblings and my family is not very big. I have not yet figured out what exactly I will do. I have thought about returning to Nationwide Children’s and volunteering on the oncology unit again. It’s where it all started. Where my love and desire to help kids and teens with cancer took over my heart. Since Erica passed away in 2010 I have only been back to the hospital once to serve Thanksgiving dinner. I do not know what took me so long to return, maybe the sadness of Erica’s death or the fear that I wouldn’t be the same volunteer I once was. When I served dinner on that Thanksgiving afternoon I felt that happiness that I had every time I use walk on to J5. Maybe that’s what I need to do, go back to where it all started or maybe start fresh somewhere new. Either way I believe my heart will find that happiness and bring smiles to everyone.

Although I am looking for a more consistent opportunity to bring smiles to others I have decided to embark on a journey that will bring me smiles. I mentioned in an earlier post about traveling to Costa Rica to volunteer at the sea turtle conservation. For awhile I debated the idea, but now that the new year is here…I am fully committing to the opportunity. I intend to buy my plane ticket by the end of next month and then begin the month-long savings for my trip. I hope to learn a lot on my journey and share my heart with sea turtles. I believe in my heart it’s an opportunity I cannot miss out on. So as said earlier, let the count down to a new adventure begin!

I don’t know where life is taking me. I’m okay with that though. The idea of having goals and dreams to become a great person is all I need to motivate me to move forward in my life and not look back. If it means leaving things and people behind that no longer help me grow then I must make that decision. Life is all about growing into the person you want to become. I no longer want to sit and watch life pass me by, I want to jump right in! I want to live a life I dream of living! I will do what it takes to continually motivate myself to live life and not just walk through it. Often times I feel like I am always talking about the same things, my dreams, aspirations, opportunities I want to grab on to in life. Although I love writing, I am tired of writing about how I want to do this and that. Instead I am going to write about my new experiences, adventures, opportunities, triumphs, and mistakes. Every moment becomes a life lesson. It’s all about learning and growing into the person you’re meant to be in this crazy phenomenon called life.

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